I can drive!

Yeah! I know this statement sounds silly as I've had my driving license and been driving for the past 5 years, but! I'm a very insecure person. I underestimate myself, don't believe in my practical abilities while at the same time I'm a perfectionist. Bad mixture as it ends up in procrastination, lack of productivity and avoidance. But I'm digressing. Eventhough I've been driving almost daily for the past 5 years I was refusing to go off the "safe" roads and hell would've frozen over before I went on Sh Zayed or further than Diyafa Rd. Until yesterday, that is.I desperately wanted to be able to go to Sharjah but had been too scared. But yesterday I decided enough was enough - we decided with a friend to go to Blue Souq and instead of going there with her, I drove myself there. And it was silly easy! Not even stressful!
As they say "if I knew then what I know now...". So why was i so scared and why wasn't it even half as bad as I feared? For once I only ever went there with husband who is a good but short-tempered driver. Hence part of my fear. Now the easy part of going to Sharjah is staying in the same lane the whole way. Perfect - no need for life-threatening lane changing. And the lane one needs to stay in is the second from the left which means no crazy minibuses and wild weavers and slalomists (is it even a word?). Next challenge will be Al Wasl Hospital, I just need to find an alternative way to my husband's...

Narnia time

Like so many children, I read the Narnia Chronicles when I was young. And like so many children, I loved it. But there was one aspect that I couldn’t really warm up to – the Narnia time. Time in Narnia flowed differently than time in the “real” world. When you crossed over to Narnia time seemed normal but when you got back, you came back at more or less the same time you left. But when you went back to Narnia again, you never knew how much time has passed – an hour, a week, a century… Now, as for different time flow I could understand the concept of that but the variable speed was weird and I found it fake and invented just to make the whole thing easy for the writer.

Fast forward two decades. I so get the Narnia time now. You see, living and taking care of a baby and now young toddler makes me slip between the “real” time and Narnia time only it’s the opposite here. The baby time in the “normal” time – she has fairly regular timings and durations for playing, sleeping, whining etc. It is the time in the “real” world that is unpredictable. Somehow the same exact action and gestures while taking care of Saboodlette that seem in baby time to take equal amount of minutes and hours last different amounts of time according to the “real” world clock. So for example the morning (waking up, feeding, playing, breakfast) can take anything between 1 and 3 hours. And I swear we always proceed at the same pace and speed. Go figure.

That November feeling

Living in the Gulf turns the world as we know it upside down. Only yesterday I uttered a phrase I would've never imagined saying in a million years - I love November. Where I come from November means cold, wet gloom. Not seeing the sun or the blue sky for weeks on end. The worst month of the year - gone is the glorious golden coppery early autumn and the white and crisp winter is still far away. But not so here. Here November means the suffocating humid heat has finally left and the cool breeze and temperatures under 35 degrees are back - not too hot, not too cold, perfect time for long walks, sidewalk cafes, beach and picnics in the parks.

In short, I'm well, my mama's been here for a week so I got a break (my yearly holiday, lol) and the low feelings left with the heat.

Not this!

I really have been trying. Fighting it with all my strength. But lately I started losing the battle. I'm borderline depressive again. The problem this time is I don't have the luxury of doing what worked in the past to keep the beast at bay - I cannot be gentle with myself for a while, I cannot sleep in, have a long hot shower, scrub, have a face pack, massage a rich cream into my whole body and then spend the rest of the day in bed with tea and a good book. I cannot go to the club and spend an afternoon lounging on the beach sipping water and fruit juice and swimming in the pool. I cannot go shopping and spend long moments contemplating a dress or an eye shadow, sit in a bookstore and look through books in peace. Hell, I can't even concentrate fully on writing this entry. I need to find another way of coping because I'm not getting a break anytime soon.

Bukhoor me!

I love perfume. Especially heavy, heady, woody, spicy, smoky ones. Can’t stand the fresh, flowery, “light” scents especially ones made with artificial oils, they give me a headache or/and nausea. That’s probably why I love oudh and bukhoor. i haven’t had any for months and I was missing it. My happiness arrived today in the form of a guilty husband who decided to make up for travelling the first week of ramadhan (and every week prior to ramadhan)by buying a small and expensive sachet of “ramadhan special” bukhoor. Since at our apartment building we have a fairly sensitive (as in going off at odd times day and night) smoke alarm, I decided to avoid th risk and put it not on hot coals but on aluminium foil on electrical cooker. Now my living room smells gorgeous – not too smoky but still incensed not sprayed. After the weekend I’m bukhooring my clothes. I have found “my” bukhoor…

Ramadan shopping frenzy

Ramadan starts tomorrow which means the shopping and, for some, cooking frenzy started yesterday, or maybe even earlier in the week. We all make fun of it commenting how crazy everybody goes buying food as if supermarkets were closing for the entire holy month. But to be honest, if I had a huge fridge and a big freezer, I would stock up as well. Not because I’m afraid supermarkets will run out of food and other products but because shopping, especially grocery shopping while fasting is even more tedious than usual. Add to it a baby on the crossover to toddlerhood and my enthusiasm for grocery shopping evaporates. That’s why I understand the crazy shoppers. During ramadan, and especially in the first week one does not want to battle heat and traffic to find themselves surrounded by food and drinks in the supermarket ailes while hungry and thirsty. Come the second week, the body will usually adjust to the different rhythm and venturing into the vastness of a hypermarket becomes less frightening. So bring the trolleys on – it’s time to shop!

No sweat

One of the traditions in Dubai is to state every summer that “it hasn’t been this hot last year”. It is hot, it is humid and it is dusty. Last year (and the year before last) the temperatures soared over 50 degrees. So imagine how exasperated and tired I was when I decided to go out for a stroll in a desperate move to get Saboodlette to take her evening nap. Since coming back from holidays, I’ve been a single mum for most of the time as husband is travelling every week. I needed a break from the overactive baby who is determined to learn to walk and on the way there explores every speck of dust… The poor thing was ecstatic when she realised we were going out – she must’ve been so bored day after day stuck at home. So there we go fully ready to come back 10 minutes later drenched in sweat. Surprise! The air was fairly clean, the sky looked blue (well, dark blue, it was right after maghrib), the moon sharp and not hazy as usual. The temperature was well below 40 degrees and there was a cool strong breeze. It would’ve been downright pleasant if it weren’t for the humidity – definitely over 80%. But all in all, we had a pleasant walk, Saboodlette fell asleep within 10 minutes and I wondered around for almost an hour. Today, feeling brave, I decided to venture outside before sunset so off we went around 16h30. The weather was as pleasant as yesterday even with sun shining. Thank God for little mercies! Now Saboodlette has a proper evening nap and I hope she’ll sleep at night as well as yesterday (woke up only twice and went right back to sleep without tossing and turning). Husband is on a plane home, weekend is 24 hours away and I'm ready to put up with all the nagging for some respite...