Courtesy of nappy brain and a baby with short attention span (as they come) the previous post wasn’t complete. So here’s the addition. Sometime during the 8th month go shopping… for yourself. Get nice, good quality and great smelling products: shower gel, body lotion, face and eye creams. Shampoo and conditioner. Perfume. No, babies do not get confused by nice smelling mamas, they’re interested in your boobs not smelly armpits, anyway. New mascara if you use it. If you worry about parabens&co, go organic, the products smell nicer anyway.
And then breast feeding bra and tops. Don’t buy too many, you might feel the need to treat yourself during the first months of motherhood and if you buy too many beforehand, well, you might feel guilty buying more later on (I made myself feel better at a low point with La Senza cotton knickers in the brightest colours they had. They were on sale as well). Now I wrote breastfeeding BRA, singular. Two at most. Reason is simple – you’ll need one straight away but there is no way to predict you final size. If you back expanded during pregnancy, chances are, it will shrink again, at least partially but not immediately. So for the first days (and nights) get the softest bra possible, adding a cup to the size you think you’ll need. Seriously. Better a little too big than too tight, especially in the first weeks.
For the clothes – get your favourite colours. If white isn’t your colour, don’t go there! (Same goes for the bras, btw). If it’s not available get it made. Do not, under any circumstance resort to using an oversized, overworn, old, gray XXL t-shirt. Rags are rarely becoming and grunge (sp?) is sooo last century. You’ll need comfortable shoes as well. Loafers, preferably, you don’t want to fiddle with shoelaces while you baby’s screaming for attention NOW.
Once you bought all of this, put it away for after the birth. It feels great putting the “baby clothes” on for the first time – not unlike the pregnancy clothes. The only difference is the speed. And then pick up your little monkey dressed in his/her new baby clothes and admire both of you in the mirror in the short seconds between feeding, cleaning, crying, rocking, burping and other fun activities ;)
23 January 2009
19 January 2009
Post-partum survival
I’ve been trying to write this entry for a weeks and each time it came out a whiny rant which would be fine if I were planning a whiny rant not a survival strategy post. SO cut the crap, Saboodle, here it goes.
1. Treat yourself as you treat your newborn. I mean, you wouldn’t allow you newborn go hungry/dirty/sad crying his/her little head out. If they hungry, you feed them, if they dirty, you clean them, if they’re sad, you console them. So be the same way with yourself – you need to eat, take a shower, rant and complain and be heard and given a hug. Especially that with all the post-partum hormones swinmming around in your system, your reactions are not unlike your newborn’s – sudden, intense and often involve crying…There might be moments/hours/days when you’ll be asking yourself “what on EARTH have I done???” It’s OK, most of us feel like this at some point. Those who claim they don’t are either weird or are lying. Don’t feel ashamed – call your best friend/mum or go on a rant on a forum or blog. Let it out and let others pat you on the head and sympathise – avoid idiots who tell you there is something wrong with you.
2. Don’t even try the superwoman routine – get someone to be there for you to help you. Even if your husband takes a week or two off, unless at least one of you is babycare professional, it will be hard and someone there who understands the situation and knows you need help as in cleaning, cooking, ironing and taking the baby away from time to time (time to time every day not once a week for 10 minutes).
3. Take care of yourself even after the help-person (mum, sister, best friend etc) has left. In the morning (whether your morning starts at 7 am or 10 am) after you fed and changed the baby and whether the baby’s having a nap or is playing, have a good breakfast (you might not have time to eat afterwards) and take a shower, put on clean clothes and even make up if that makes you feel good. If you’re planning to go out this day – get dressed in the going out clothes – it may be harder later on. Housework can wait. Seriously.
4. If you’re breastfeeding, the above point is even more important because in order to produce good amount of milk you need to be watered, fed and rested (and if it’s a myth, let it continue) Your husband can wash up and sweep the floors, he cannot produce milk.
5. If you’re planning on taking advice from books, buy them and read them during pregnancy as the chances are after the baby’s born, you won’t have time or energy to read and even if you get to read you won’t be absorbing anything – the brain gets mushy and is interested only in the baby.
6. Be flexible. Just because you decided on doing some things a certain way or follow a particular “method”, it doesn’t mean it will still make sense after the baby’s here. For this reason, as well, I would recommend reading different books (if you’re planning on reading any at all). If you bought Gina Ford, buy Dr Sears as well. Then you won’t feel pressure to do or not do things a certain way. At the end of the day, mamas and babies have all different personalities and temperaments. What counts is happy baby and happy parents and not an opinion of some author or even family member.
7. Bepanthen ointment. For you and your baby. Heals cracked, irritated nipples and red bottoms. Lanolin is supposed to be great as well but some people (me included) are allergic to it. Bepanthen rules.
I’m sorry if this post sounds chaotic and doesn’t read fluently but I’ ve decided enough is enough – I must post it and be done with, mushy brain or not (and the ironing will wait).
1. Treat yourself as you treat your newborn. I mean, you wouldn’t allow you newborn go hungry/dirty/sad crying his/her little head out. If they hungry, you feed them, if they dirty, you clean them, if they’re sad, you console them. So be the same way with yourself – you need to eat, take a shower, rant and complain and be heard and given a hug. Especially that with all the post-partum hormones swinmming around in your system, your reactions are not unlike your newborn’s – sudden, intense and often involve crying…There might be moments/hours/days when you’ll be asking yourself “what on EARTH have I done???” It’s OK, most of us feel like this at some point. Those who claim they don’t are either weird or are lying. Don’t feel ashamed – call your best friend/mum or go on a rant on a forum or blog. Let it out and let others pat you on the head and sympathise – avoid idiots who tell you there is something wrong with you.
2. Don’t even try the superwoman routine – get someone to be there for you to help you. Even if your husband takes a week or two off, unless at least one of you is babycare professional, it will be hard and someone there who understands the situation and knows you need help as in cleaning, cooking, ironing and taking the baby away from time to time (time to time every day not once a week for 10 minutes).
3. Take care of yourself even after the help-person (mum, sister, best friend etc) has left. In the morning (whether your morning starts at 7 am or 10 am) after you fed and changed the baby and whether the baby’s having a nap or is playing, have a good breakfast (you might not have time to eat afterwards) and take a shower, put on clean clothes and even make up if that makes you feel good. If you’re planning to go out this day – get dressed in the going out clothes – it may be harder later on. Housework can wait. Seriously.
4. If you’re breastfeeding, the above point is even more important because in order to produce good amount of milk you need to be watered, fed and rested (and if it’s a myth, let it continue) Your husband can wash up and sweep the floors, he cannot produce milk.
5. If you’re planning on taking advice from books, buy them and read them during pregnancy as the chances are after the baby’s born, you won’t have time or energy to read and even if you get to read you won’t be absorbing anything – the brain gets mushy and is interested only in the baby.
6. Be flexible. Just because you decided on doing some things a certain way or follow a particular “method”, it doesn’t mean it will still make sense after the baby’s here. For this reason, as well, I would recommend reading different books (if you’re planning on reading any at all). If you bought Gina Ford, buy Dr Sears as well. Then you won’t feel pressure to do or not do things a certain way. At the end of the day, mamas and babies have all different personalities and temperaments. What counts is happy baby and happy parents and not an opinion of some author or even family member.
7. Bepanthen ointment. For you and your baby. Heals cracked, irritated nipples and red bottoms. Lanolin is supposed to be great as well but some people (me included) are allergic to it. Bepanthen rules.
I’m sorry if this post sounds chaotic and doesn’t read fluently but I’ ve decided enough is enough – I must post it and be done with, mushy brain or not (and the ironing will wait).
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