It’s our fifth year here. Almost four years. Which is roughly the same amount of time I spent in the previous country I lived in. And yet, while the previous place felt (and still feels, to a degree) like home, Dubai doesn’t. Sharjah got closer but still not quite. And while I know what I miss the most, the real friends, I was trying to figure out what exactly defines a friend to me and why (apart from the usual “it’s a transitional place” bla) the friends I made here don’t really feel like friends even though I had thre same amount of time to get to know people as before. So what’s different? I met so many different people with similar interests and at similar life stages. We talk, do things together and yet… And then it hit me. When talking to a real friend I can voice my opinions without apologising for them even if the said opinion is in opposition to how the other person thinks or feels about the topic. Even if it’s a sensitive subject. We might disagree totally but there won’t be awkward silence, backtracking or smoothing over. There might be a heated discussion or just exchange of views but no apologising for thinking this or other way. This is what I miss. And this is what makes me even resentful. I’m tired of being careful about what I talk about and to whom. I’m irritated by running into a wall of awkwardness when I say something the other person disagrees with. I’m fed up with having to tread carefully, having to use expressions like “I read/heard that”, “this is what some people say” etc. What people??? And why these “people’s” opinions are important enough to quote while my opinion must be dressed up and backed up with what some elusive “expert” has to say?
I need a friend. A friend who I can disagree with. A friend who’s ok with difference in opinion and won’t have their feeling hurt by it nor would be too scared to say what they think. My feeling can take it. Please, apply.
And all of this because I miss her. Our birthdays fall on the same day. She’s pregnant now and due on the day of Saboodlette’s EDD.
I miss you, H.
Here I go again...
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6 comments:
ppl are different type of thinking everywhere so it's difficult if you say why ur friend not like same ur old place.
no if no but sirf jutt ;)
khalid SSF
I know, Khalid :) I just miss her and that day I missed her more than usual, that's all...
I could copy and paste this post in my own blog. I think and feel almost exactly the same. Although I think you already know that ;)
Awww Saboodle. I totally know what you mean about not having to apologise to your true friend with anything you say. They're such gems when you find a true, unique buddy. If you move to Oman, I'll be your friend-fill-in! You won't ever have to apologise to me, my dear. :)
I used to feel the same way here in Doha, until i drifted away from the people i "should be friends with" - the arts crowd, wives of husband's colleagues, neighbors in the compound -- and somehow REAL PEOPLE gradually came around. I met one at the salon, another through a colleague's friend, a couple through an internet forum, others i don't even remember how. SO don't worry.
Thanks Fire, i know :)
L_Oman, I hope that on one of your Dubai visits you'll have a moment spare for a coffee?
Lu, I met nice people as well. Thank God! But still I miss HER :(
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