Taxi talk

L_Oman inspired this post (well, it “inspired” sounds better than “I stole the idea from”) with her story on dealing with shop assistants.
The rule of minimum words, maximum content doesn’t apply only to aforementioned shop assistants but also, or even more so, to taxis, so here it is, a short guide to communicating with a taxi driver.
If you live in Sharjah or any other of the Northern Emirates, it’s easier to learn a couple of words in broken Arabic (don’t overstrain yourself with correct pronunciation, it will be confusing), if you’re in Dubai, it’s the same but in English. The words you’ll need are:
-straight
-left
-right
-here
-exit
-yes
-no
-after (instead of “the next one”).
-you know? (and this is the only verb you should use).
Example:
“Sh. Zayed, straight, straight, you know?”
(when arriving at the destination)
“After (here) exit”
and two seconds later
“Exit here, yes, yes”
And here for the “Arabic” version:
“Sh. Zayed, sida, sida, ma’loum?”
“B’ad hini, mouhridj”
“hini, eeh (na’am, aywa), hini”
And this is how you guide your taxi from Sharjah to the Mall of the Emirates, known to the non-anglophone population as “Emirates’ Mall”.
One more rule. Never ever give more than one information at the time. Space them and only ever give the specifications if really necessary. The mistake most anglophones (or wannabe anglophones) make is using extra-polite forms. Sometimes, so it seems, to show how egalitarian and non-racist they are, since they speak to the poor guy in the same exact manner they would to their boss. It sounds something like this “Do you, by any chance, happen to know the shortest and most efficient way to this small, quirky boutique, the name is “xyz”, I believe, that is situated in one of the backstreets on the left coming from Abu Dhabi, after the 3rd Interchange”. Of course, I’m exaggerating, of course, but only slightly. The poor guy would only understand “Abu Dhabi” and “Interchange”. Being polite is not about using flowery and complicated grammatical structures, it is about making it easy for the other person to understand you. It doesn’t mean barking orders, either. Just simplest, plainest words in a polite tone. Usually works.